The 7 Crucial Answers to Why You're Feeling Lost in Motherhood - Part 1: 'What do you do?'

Have you ever travelled overseas and been lost in a new city? It’s kind of exciting and you don’t freak out because you know you can search Google Maps to find out exactly where you are, and where you need to go. You can also quickly work out how you got there in the first place.

However, what happens when you get lost in Motherhood? 

There is no Google Maps for navigating that journey. You know physically where you are, but how on earth did you get to this mental space where you can’t even describe the landmarks! You know you want to feel differently but how do you make that happen? The clue lies in understanding how you actually got here.

Reason Number #1 - 'What do you do?'

As a stay-at-home mum, does your confidence nose dive when someone asks you: “What do you do?”.

You used to say confidently, “I’m in advertising”, or “I’m a consultant” or “I’m in sales”. However, if you’ve been out of the workforce for a while, you don’t even know what to say anymore!

Society values roles where you’re doing something and being paid for it. So much of your identity is wrapped up in ‘What you do’, but when you stop paid work to stay at home in the (unpaid) role of raising your kids, society doesn’t quite know how to respond to that.

It’s almost as if the second you stop achieving and contributing to the workforce, you’ve stopped contributing. Period. And it’s a tricky perception to deal with.


In the beginning, you’re very comfortable with being at home, but once you’ve actually stayed at home for a while, you get more uncomfortable being asked the question:

“So, what do you do?”.

At the beginning, the conversation goes something like this:

“So, what do you do?”

“I’m a stay-at-home Mum”, you reply with confidence.

“Oh” is the reply…and then…silence.

And that’s often where the conversation (awkwardly) ends .

Have you noticed that when you meet someone new, it’s usually the first question people ask you?

When you’re in the paid workforce, you don’t notice it as much.

However, when you're a stay-at-home mum, you start to take notice.

Especially as you repeatedly hear the, “Oh” response to "What do you do?" so many times, and then the silence.

And again. 

Then you get to the place where you dread being asked!


Sometimes the conversation goes like this:

“So, what do you do?”

“I’m a stay-at-home Mum”, you reply.

“Oh, you’re just a stay-at-home mum” you hear…

and that’s where the conversation awkwardly ends, with you feeling offended, but then like crap.


After having so many of these conversations, you then start to take on societies perception of the value of staying at home.


Eventually, the conversation morph’s into this:


“So, what do you do?”

“I’m just a stay-at-home Mum”, you reply.


And that’s when the lost feelings start to rumble inside.

You want to enjoy this time at home with your kids, but you start wondering:

“Is my role valuable?

It's no wonder you're feeling lost in Motherhood.
I hear you, I see you, and after 15 years of mainly being a stay-at-home mum, I really get it.

There's is a way to start finding yourself again, and regaining your confidence.
Reach out for support when you're ready.

Do you want to know the second crucial answer to why you’re feeling lost in Motherhood?…
Read on: Reason Number #2 - Your response to, 'What do you do?' 


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