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You’re not supposed to be happy all the time

I’m curious – how are you feeling in this moment? Are you happy, sad, frustrated, excited, angry, resentful, optimistic?

Honestly, in this moment, I’m feeling down and as crappy as it feels, I know it’s not permanent.

I know I can choose a different thought, which will give me a different feeling. I don’t have to stay feeling down.

The following quote by Glennon Doyle, the author of Love Warrior (if you haven’t read it – I recommend it!) helps me to have some acceptance around how I’m feeling right now:

“You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it’s hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don’t avoid the pain. You need it. It’s meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go, let it leave you with the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.”

I know it’s not always easy to get yourself out of a funk, but I also know it’s worth it.

I know that YOU are worth it.

Would you like to hear a couple of ways to get yourself out of a funk (whether you’re in one now, or you feel like this sometimes).

Option 1 - Avoid your feelings

To avoid your feelings you could:

  • Go shopping
  • Eat chocolate
  • Get some exercise
  • Binge-watch TV
  • Spring clean

Hey, I’m not judging…I’ve definitely tried to avoid my feelings!

And it works! (although the credit card bill can sting afterwards)

And it doesn’t last.

The problem with avoiding your feelings is that you’re still holding onto them. They haven’t disappeared - they’re just hiding there under the surface…just like the food lodged in the crevices of your child’s car seat :).

You know it’s there, but you’re scared to look.

 

You’re scared to find what’s beneath it.

You’re scared because you don’t know if you can deal with it.

You’re scared because you’re worried about how painful it will feel.

And what if you won't be able to cope with the pain?

 

I want you to know Mama, that it is scary, and messy and painful.

And I also want you to know that when you get to the heart of it, there’s calm, and peace and joy. 

 


“The wound is the place where the light enters you” - Rumi

 

I would love to see you shine brightly. I want that calm, peace and joy for you (and for me!), which is why I recommend choosing Option 2 below (but only when you’re ready…and only you know when the time is right for you.) 

 

Option 2 - Feel your feelings

To do this, you need to get honest with yourself. I invite you to feel the fear of uncovering your hidden feelings and acknowledge that it’s scary.

And then do it anyway.

But do it with self-compassion. Be loving, and nurturing and kind to yourself as you explore how you’re feeling.

Allow yourself to grieve any lost expectations, hopes and dreams.


There are many ways to do this. You can think about it, talk about it, journal it, or see a professional like a therapist of coach.

The gift of allowing yourself to feel whatever is going on for you is that it is the first step to feeling better.

It will allow you to let more love into your life and deepen your connection with your partner, friends and your kids.

Once you're able to move through the feelings, you will be in a better place to create new dreams and a vision for yourself.

Are you ready? I think you may be. 

Marija

x

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